Perfectionism, in psychology, is a personality trait characterised by striving for flawlessness and
setting high targets for yourself. Usually followed by critical self-evaluations and concerns about others evaluations.
For years of my life I struggled with perfectionism and everything needing to be just right. I would become obsessed by a task, something that could only take me an hour could last days, due to me restarting the task and continuously changing it. I really struggled with this in school when it came to my work. I was never happy about anything I handed in and would panic about how it would affect my grades. Usually the work I had done was more than sufficient but I would still panic about it. The worst thing was if I has been completing a piece of work and didn’t have as much time as I would like to complete it, it would send me into a tail-spin.
How perfectionism hold you back
For a perfectionist if a task isn’t perfect when completed then it wasn’t done properly. Often perfectionists complete a task many times to make it perfect and if they can’t get it to be perfect they give up and don’t complete the task. I know this to be true as I do it all the time myself, when I get an idea I start it and keep trying to make it perfect and I often give up and forget about it as I couldn’t get it to be perfect.
Perfectionism also leads to procrastinating. I often procrastinate tasks I think are going to be difficult to get perfect, meaning I have even less time to complete them and get them to be perfect. It is a vicious circle I find myself stuck in more often than I would like to admit.
Why is perfectionism a weakness?
Perfectionism is generally considered a weakness, there are many factors involved in thinking this. One of them is when a perfectionist completes a task and doesn’t think it is perfect they tend to feel unworthy and this can give them a low self-esteem. Another reason it is considered to be a weakness is it causes people to procrastinate. Putting off projects and deadlines due to thinking they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Finally, it can also cause a person to be slow completing things. A task that should take less than an hour could take six or seven, because the task must be perfect and it takes time to look over tasks and repeat them.
Can perfectionism be considered a strength?
To some extent I think perfectionism could be considered to be a strength. I think this because being a perfectionist means that you are completely focused on the task at hand, altering information and being thorough ensuring you don’t miss anything out. There can be pleasure in being detail oriented and precise, however, when this becomes obsessive and the person gets stressed from it I don’t think it can then be a thought of as a strength.
How I deal with my perfectionism
There are many ways in which I deal with being a perfectionist, some more successful than others but I would like to share them all anyways as something that doesn’t work for one person might work for another.
Setting realistic goals
I find that I want to set myself lots of goals but most of them are not realistic. I know that by setting goals that aren’t realistic I set myself up for failure before I have even begun. I know that if my goal is something that I won’t be able to ever perfect I will procrastinate, I won’t complete the task and it will knock my confidence. By setting realistic goals that I will be able to achieve I avoid this.
Prioritise self-care
If you are working on a task and you just can’t get it perfect I find it best to take a break and do some self-care. This could be anything from reading a book, doing a face mask or just having some time to breathe. I find that this helps me clear my head and I often come up with new ideas for the task.
Work with what you have got
Working with what you have is important, if you procrastinated doing something or have a limited amount of time to complete a task, it is better to complete the task and spend the remainder of the time altering it and making it perfect than to only have a perfect start to the task.
Reassess your standards
When completing a task if you are completely stuck and don’t know how to make a certain bit perfect I think you should reassess your standards. I find it helpful to ask myself questions about the task such as:
- Does this explain all my points?
- Is the information clear?
- Does the writing make sense?
- Have I included everything I need to?
Push the boat out
I also find that sometimes ‘half-assing’ a task helps to boost my confidence, when I am feeling particularly worried about a task sometimes I like to finish it and not check it, for example when writing an email sometimes I just like to send it without triple checking it. I get a rush of excitement and it boosts my confidence and self-esteem as I know that I don’t have to obsess over something for it to be good.
